


Thought You'd Never Ask

by Jak_the_ATAT



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, No Chick-Flick Moments, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Assault, Wait this is COD not SPN, Woods is a gentleman, graphic description of sexual assault, soft bois
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28218327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jak_the_ATAT/pseuds/Jak_the_ATAT
Summary: Alex Mason hates being touched. But he hates being held back from exploring a more intimate relationship even more.
Relationships: Alex Mason/Frank Woods
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	Thought You'd Never Ask

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE TAGS

Every time he thinks about it, Alex hates himself more. He longs for intimacy. Sometimes dreams about it at night. And yet, god forbid, every time he has an open chance for it, his body freezes and he runs away. He just can’t. No. He never wants to be touched by anyone. Hell, even something like a handshake takes a significant amount of energy to calm his body down and keep from violently reacting. 

He often wonders why Frank even bothers continuing their relationship.

It often upsets Alex how much Frank goes out of his way to keep from overstepping boundaries. Frank is careful. He never touches Alex unless he is in view and his intentions are clear, with the only exception being when they’re breaching a room (and even then, Frank typically leads so it’s Alex who performs the shoulder-tap). So far, the most Frank is allowed to do sporadically is hug Alex, but it has to be brief. Any longer, and Alex begins to feel his skin crawl and his mind swirl. 

Not once has Frank complained about the lack of intimacy. And it pisses the CIA operative off. Alex wants to have a normal relationship. Yet, between his hypersensitivity to what is supposed to be warm and loving physical contact, and his fear of being sexually assaulted after his time on Vorkuta, the CIA Op refuses to do anything about the hole he’s dug himself in. 

Tonight, as they sit on the couch eating Frank's 'famous' French onion soup, Alex thinks about this, making himself angrier. It's bad enough that they've been together for five years and hardly made progress. Even worse if he realizes they've only kissed once, and neither really count it because it sent Alex into a panic attack. That was the day Alex discovered his boundaries, and the day Frank discovered how he could keep the relationship going with minimal physical contact.

"You're thinking," Frank hums, a smile sliding onto his face. "Care to share with the group?"

Alex can't help but grin back. "Maybe."

"Name your price."

"Uhh..." he catches himself admiring Frank's lips. Truth be told, he's wanted to kiss Frank for a long time. Months, if he could name a time frame. And yet he's too afraid he would have another panic attack or his body would react with violence to the gesture.

"Uh? Sounds like an interesting price," Frank chuckles. “Now what’s that in layman’s terms?”

Alex feels blood pumping in his cheeks. "No, no, there's an actual price."

“As long as it doesn't involve me asking Hudson for anything, I'll pay it." Frank begins drinking his soup.

Alex grips his spoon tighter, weighing the options. Could he really kiss Frank again? Would Frank even want it? Should he still keep quiet or take the risk?

He chooses risk.

"Frank, can I kiss you?" Alex blurts. He's taken aback by his abruptness and immediately wants to say something to compensate for it.

Frank stops slurping his soup and quickly wipes his mouth on his wrist. "Err..." The slight pause makes Alex wonder if he made the wrong decision. "Sure," the marine finishes. "Didn’t expect that price. You sure you're comfortable with it?”

"I don't… I mean, I think... are you..?" All Alex's confidence snaps away.

"I am. But only if you are."

"Okay." Alex leans in and gives Frank a quick kiss on the lips. Immediately, his mind shuts down, his body going into hyperdrive, wanting to flee from the intimacy. He jerks away.

He's a fucking idiot. He knew this was coming and he still ran with it.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa, you didn't even give me a chance to return it," Frank says with a mischievous smirk. But it quickly disappears when he realizes Alex can't appreciate the humor. 

Numbness spreads across Alex’s body and a glance at one hand confirms how badly he’s shaking. His throat tightens, and he swallows hard to try and clear it so he doesn’t lose his ability to breathe. Suddenly he’s back in Vorkuta, in that one room that smelled of sterilizer where the warden conducted sexual experiments. He can almost feel the warden’s unwanted fingers crawling up his skin as steamy breath brushes against his ear. He shuts his eyes to try and clear his head, but becomes trapped by his imagination. He feels the warden’s teeth flick against his mouth, and Alex sucks his lips in to avoid the pain of his lip being eaten alive. 

"Hey, Alex, you okay?" The warden disappears upon hearing Frank’s voice. 

Alex doesn't know whether he's trying to nod or shake his head. What he does know is that he’s got Frank scared. One of Frank’s hands sits halfway between them, partially ready to grab Alex, partially ready to defend himself should anything happen, but far enough away it didn’t crowd nor reach the ‘red zone’ area around the operative. 

“I'm sorry," Alex finally manages to croak. "I thought I could..." his sentence is cut off by an overwhelming lump of fear caught in his throat.

"You just didn't set yourself up right," Frank says, but his tone doesn’t match with the supposedly humorous remark. The marine puts his empty soup bowl to the side and turns his full attention to Alex. "Do you want a real kiss?"

Alex nods, then shakes his head, then nods again. God, he wants Frank to kiss him so much. And yet he can't stop thinking about how wrong it could go. He supposes he's lucky that the only thing that's happened tonight was a few heartbeats lost.

Frank hasn’t moved. For a brief moment, Alex wonders if the marine wants to back out. Then he realizes he hasn’t made his intentions clear, and Frank is waiting for proper consent. “Y-Yeah…” Alex wants to kick himself for sounding so unsure. He takes a deep breath and controls his shaking just enough so his next words come out stronger. “I do.”

His eyes watch every move Frank makes, and he shudders when Frank cups his cheek. "You okay?" Frank asks, his voice so soft he almost sounds like a different person.

Alex nods again. He feels the marine's thumb stroking his cheek and it... well, it feels... right, for lack of a better term. He takes an uneasy breath and tries closing his eyes, then opens them again when he realizes not seeing is only making him feel more insecure.

Frank places his other hand on Alex's hand death gripping the soup bowl. "Take a deep breath," he says, and Alex does so. Frank eases Alex's fingers off the soup bowl and puts it to the side before clasping the CIA's now-empty hands. "I'm not going to do anything you don't want."

"I know," Alex whispers. "But what if I—" his words trail off. 

Frank shrugs. "Hey, if you aren’t feeling it, we can always wait.”

"N-no..! I don't want to wait..."

“Alright. But don’t go forcing yourself to do things just because. The last I wanna see is you in pain.”

It’s a long time before Frank makes any moves to kiss. He simply continues to stroke Alex's cheek with his thumb. Slowly but surely, the comfort finally kicks in. Alex is no longer trembling as badly—though he still hasn't stopped—and he leans into Frank's hand. In return, Frank lets Alex play with his fingers as an outlet for nervousness. And when Alex's shoulders finally slouch and his eyelids flutter shut, Frank closes the distance between them.

Their lips meet.

Alex feels fingers against his skin again, but this time he knows it's just Frank. Now that he’s calmer, pleasurable details come to light, ones he's never been privy to. Frank smells like a mix of dirt and onions, and not in a bad way. The marine's lips are also chapped, but they don't hurt and continue to move in fluid motion against Alex's. A little exploring with his hands tells the CIA operative what he already knows but still marvels at: Frank has a nice muscular chest.

All too soon, it's over. Alex doesn’t know why he pulls away first. He feels worse when he sees Frank react by drawing away, worried that it was his fault. "You sure you’re okay?" Frank asks.

“I am. Really.” He’s pleasantly surprised how steady those words are. 

Their hands are still together, Alex suddenly realizing he’s been death gripping and crushing the poor marine’s hand. He releases Frank, but not enough that Frank can get away. 

Not that Frank makes a move to escape anyway. 

They sit in silence for a while, Alex still fiddling with Frank’s fingers until they’re playing thumb war on repeat. “Why do you put up with me?” Alex finally asks. 

“The hell you talking about?” 

“This… whole relationship. This thumb war is the longest I’ve had any physical contact with you.”

Frank sighs. “Really? Thought it was obvious a relationship doesn’t just come from physical contact.” 

“No, but--” Alex cuts himself off, unsure where he’s going with his thoughts.

“Alex, the reason I put up with you is because you put up with me without being ordered to. No one does that, and you know that. The least I can do to thank you for even caring for me beyond skin level is keep you comfortable.” He smiles a little before breaking the sweet moment with, “Alright, that’s enough monologue sap from me.” 

Alex chuckles. He wins the next thumb war before just holding their hands. Another thought crosses his mind. 

“Frank, can I kiss you again?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Once again, it’s Frank that leads the kiss, still keeping with his controlled gestures and consistently checking on Alex’s wants. This time, however, Alex makes the initiative to kisses a little deeper, and is delighted when Frank does the same.

Heat rolls up his skin, heightening his senses until every small touch makes him shudder. The care that Frank puts into each movement as they slowly transition from one kiss to multiple only drives Alex crazier. And though the tiniest part of him tells him he shouldn't feel this safe, his mind and heart relishes every little second.

Alex wants it to go on forever.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I love this ship so much. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
